Saturday, February 14, 2015

hair today, gone tomorrow

It’s funny how my hair can just be there, all inconspicuous and no trouble at all for several months at a time, and then suddenly it becomes an alien enemy combatant.  As of two days ago, I’ve been fighting my hair all day long.  Today is the same, and surely it will remain this way until Monday when it gets cut.  It’s entirely my own fault for not scheduling haircuts more frequently.  I just tend to ignore things until they become a problem…like now.  The dry winter air creates a mess of static.  I can shake my head and hear my hair crackle, but I don’t do it often because it makes the static even worse.  Conditioner helps, but it’s not a cure-all.  Even Someone, who rarely notices anything, asked last night what was up with my hair.  It must be really bad.

Curriculum Vitae, aka CV, aka nightmare.  Having worked in business my whole life and being still very new to the world of academia, I submitted my CV to a consulting company that specializes in helping lame-ass people like me find teaching jobs.  They reviewed it (for a nominal fee) and gave me feedback to improve it.  Yes indeed, their advice was to completely rewrite the shitty thing.  Mine is too brief, too much like a resume and not enough like a CV.  Since I’ve accomplished so little with my life, it seems extremely incorrect to have a heading with one puny item under it.  This is what they’ve told me to do.  I will have several headings with one item.  In my mind it’s like having a list with one bullet point.  NO! Just no!  But it’s what I must do.  They are the experts.  I paid for their advice.  The CV must be rewritten before I can apply for more teaching jobs.  I must get more teaching jobs before I can retire.  Life is just so F*ing complicated sometimes. 

Someone tried to simplify our lives by buying a lottery ticket this week.  I’m sad to report, we lost again.  Someone and I both know we have a greater chance of getting struck by lightning on the moon twice in the same day than winning the lottery, but he still plays it every week.  Long ago, I used to play it every week, but finally and somehow broke free of the habit.  It got to the point where I risked life and limb to get my ticket for fear that they would draw my numbers when I hadn’t bought a ticket.  I remember loading little baby Sarah into the car one evening just hours before the drawing.  There was ice on the streets and snow coming down, but still we went out to get my ticket. 

The pot was several hundred million this week.  Someone bought extra tickets, like that would matter.  He even talked about who he was going to call to drive us to collect our winnings and how we were going to invest all that money.  I looked at Someone incredulously.  He was obviously in some crazy fantasyland.  Good for him.  Meanwhile, I’m in my personal hell wondering how I can make the house payment, pay for insurance, continue our cell phone bill, help the girls with college, and pay our taxes while working as a college instructor.  On top of that, my van has 160K miles on it, and I promised Erin I’d get her a newer used car this summer.  No wonder Someone doesn’t want me to change careers.  He’s in love with my paycheck.  So am I.  


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