It’s funny how my hair can just be there, all inconspicuous
and no trouble at all for several months at a time, and then suddenly it
becomes an alien enemy combatant. As of
two days ago, I’ve been fighting my hair all day long. Today is the same, and surely it will remain
this way until Monday when it gets cut.
It’s entirely my own fault for not scheduling haircuts more
frequently. I just tend to ignore things
until they become a problem…like now.
The dry winter air creates a mess of static. I can shake my head and hear my hair crackle,
but I don’t do it often because it makes the static even worse. Conditioner helps, but it’s not a
cure-all. Even Someone, who rarely
notices anything, asked last night what was up with my hair. It must be really bad.
Curriculum Vitae, aka CV, aka nightmare. Having worked in business my whole life and
being still very new to the world of academia, I submitted my CV to a
consulting company that specializes in helping lame-ass people like me find
teaching jobs. They reviewed it (for a
nominal fee) and gave me feedback to improve it. Yes indeed, their advice was to completely
rewrite the shitty thing. Mine is too
brief, too much like a resume and not enough like a CV. Since I’ve accomplished so little with my
life, it seems extremely incorrect to have a heading with one puny item under
it. This is what they’ve told me to
do. I will have several headings with
one item. In my mind it’s like having a
list with one bullet point. NO! Just
no! But it’s what I must do. They are the experts. I paid for their advice. The CV must be rewritten before I can apply
for more teaching jobs. I must get more
teaching jobs before I can retire. Life
is just so F*ing complicated sometimes.
Someone tried to simplify our lives by buying a lottery
ticket this week. I’m sad to report, we
lost again. Someone and I both know we
have a greater chance of getting struck by lightning on the moon twice in the
same day than winning the lottery, but he still plays it every week. Long ago, I used to play it every week, but
finally and somehow broke free of the habit.
It got to the point where I risked life and limb to get my ticket for
fear that they would draw my numbers when I hadn’t bought a ticket. I remember loading little baby Sarah into the
car one evening just hours before the drawing.
There was ice on the streets and snow coming down, but still we went out
to get my ticket.
The pot was several hundred million this week. Someone bought extra tickets, like that would
matter. He even talked about who he was
going to call to drive us to collect our winnings and how we were going to
invest all that money. I looked at
Someone incredulously. He was obviously
in some crazy fantasyland. Good for
him. Meanwhile, I’m in my personal hell
wondering how I can make the house payment, pay for insurance, continue our
cell phone bill, help the girls with college, and pay our taxes while working
as a college instructor. On top of that,
my van has 160K miles on it, and I promised Erin I’d get her a newer used car
this summer. No wonder Someone doesn’t
want me to change careers. He’s in love
with my paycheck. So am I.
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