25 working days.
It’s getting real that I’m quitting my job. As many times as I’ve run the numbers with my financial advisors, as many times as they’ve assured me I can pay the bills, it freaks me out to think about giving up the paycheck. The idea of depending on Someone to pay bills if we fall on hard times is completely unfathomable. It's not in my nature to depend on somebody for money.
The other night, I had a bad dream. It wasn’t even like my typical bad dreams – nobody died and there were no snakes. In fact, it started out good. In my dream, Someone, me, Erin, Emily, Sarah, and Sarah’s "man friend" were going out to go to dinner to celebrate my retirement. For some weird reason, we were going to the Chimney Corner, a little restaurant in town that has been there for over 100 years. The food there is expensive and not even that great; I haven’t been in there for at least 20 years. Anyway, this particular day (in my dream), they were having a buffet and the line of people waiting to get in was backed up all the way outside the restaurant, out to the street. Someone said, “Hey we’ll go on in and get us a table – there’s no need for all of us to wait in line.” I agreed and they all went inside. It finally came my turn to pay. The cashier said, “That’ll be $650 dollars.” I about choked, but handed her my credit card without question and paid. Inside the restaurant, it was packed and noisy. I wandered all around the restaurant (which seemed enormous compared to how it is in real life) and never saw a familiar face. Eventually I concluded they must be outside waiting for a table, so I went out the back door. Sure enough, they were all standing around outside. Someone said, “Where the hell have you been? We already ate and have been waiting here for an hour.”
That’s when I woke up.
What was that dream about? The money? The money! $650 for dinner??
Our house has fallen to total ruin with all the hours I’ve worked since January. Someone has no interest in the condition or cleanliness of our living environment, and he has no intentions or ambition to help. He’s always been that way, so it’s just who he is. You live with what you marry; and accept faults to keep things peaceful.
I’ve been telling myself (since January) that I’m working myself to death so that I can amass enough $$$$ to pay for some new flooring, furniture, and repairs. Right now, we’re in desperate need to get our gutters cleaned out and the porch roof either patched or replaced. We have trees and weeds growing tall in the gutters – that’s how bad they are. To make matters even worse, the last few evenings when I got home from work, a squirrel family was sitting on the roof eating out of them. I love squirrels, but damn them for that. Is it not bad enough to see a forest growing out of the gutters without having squirrels dining out of them as well? I’ve called three different people who advertise they do roofing and gutter cleaning. None have even returned my calls. I’m to the point, it’s like just name your price and I’ll pay. Just come and get it done, PLEASE!
Last night, I bought a new screen door for our porch – the old one has rotted, is broken and hanging by one hinge. The reviews on the new door say it’s shit, but it’ll definitely be an improvement over the old door. It has a pet entrance so perhaps Gracie and Molly won’t destroy it as quickly as they did the old one. Once the door is up, I will scrub down the porch and set my plants outside. With the door broken, the birds come in and make a huge mess. Maybe I’ll get some new porch furniture this summer when it’s discounted. The old stuff is duct-taped together in places and looks pretty crappy.
Last night, also, I bought a tall cabinet and a book shelf for my office space (aka dining room). This weekend is a 3-day holiday and a light-work one in terms of my classes at University #2. The dining room is my main task. Someone gave me the go-ahead to sell his big old table. It’s a solid walnut antique that he bought cheap in an estate sale, but we have no chairs for it, we’ve only used it a few times, and it stays piled up with junk. It’s going to a consignment store as soon as I clear it off, wipe the dust off, and find somebody to help me load it into my van (hopefully Emily's boyfriend and Emily). It’s not an ugly table – in fact, I paid to have it refinished after Someone and I married. Then at some point, Emily scratched her name into the top of it. She went through a destructive phase (very destructive phase) in her preschool years.
So now I have many tasks waiting - furniture to assemble and a major decluttering effort (in just one room - my office space - for now). AND….flowers to plant. I have four flats waiting, and seeds. It’s going to be an awesome weekend!!!