Wednesday, June 12, 2013

some assistance please and thank you

It was a major afternoon slump today brought on by cake overdose. Important People came down from corporate headquarters to do a 15-year anniversary award for an Important Person’s son, and treated our whole group in this area of Kentucky to lunch and cake. Normally, I decline cake unless its purpose is to honor me (because that is good manners, not to mention everyone expects you to eat cake when the cake is for you). However, declining wasn’t an option today.  A giant piece with thick red and blue icing was just plunked down in front of me…like HERE – EAT THIS! So I did.

After festivities, I went back to my cube, sat down, and slid into that semi-coma state of sugar OD. I had work to do and no motivation or energy to will my fingers onto the keyboard. What to do? CAFFEINE. Must have caffeine. I keep a supply of cheap, generic caffeine pills in my purse at all times (er...usually). One pill is like sucking down two cups of coffee all at once.  Since coffee is totally gross and I don’t drink the stuff, caffeine pills substitute.  Mother's little helpers. 

no caffeine???

I rifled through my purse. What? None with me????? Oh SHIT! What to do (what to do)? I dug through a desk drawer and found none. Emptied the various junk mugs on my desk and found none. Cursed myself for not being more attentive to my on-hand supply. Woe is me!! I checked my watch and saw there was no time before a meeting to run out to the store and buy some. More woe. Then I dumped my briefcase and, thank you Jesus, there was a whole pack of them. Thanks be to God.

It’s probably safe to say I’m pretty well hooked on my little yellow friends. In the back of my mind, as I was shuffling and digging (and getting edgy), I remembered my first husband’s angst the times I "moved" his cigarettes or lighter.  He kept a pack and lighter on the nightstand beside his pillow so that first thing in the morning he could have a smoke. It’s not like I made his darlings impossible to find…just a bit difficult. Why did I do such a thing? Because I could…because I like holding a magnifying glass over ants in the sun to watch them pop. Not really…maybe I’m just a bit passive-aggressive like that sometimes.

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