Friday, November 8, 2013

selfish solitude

Wednesday afternoon, I took a half vacation day, loaded my kayak, and set off for the lake.  It wasn’t partly sunny like the forecast promised, but it was almost 70 degrees (pleasant).  The sun did peek between the thick, dark clouds for a few brief moments.  There were a couple of fishing boats on the lake, but nothing else.  It is better than any heaven I can imagine to be out there in the quiet, surrounded by beautiful tree-covered hills, and completely out of contact with all humanity (i.e. no cell phone).  I paddled to the back of a cove and just drifted for some long stretch of time…. time isn’t clearly defined out there.  A pair of hawks circled overhead before flying off in different directions.  Hawks are one of my favorite birds. 

Boots are the when the water is cold.  Drip rings on the paddle keep me from getting too wet. 
Greenbo Lake
I thought about asking some other kayak enthusiasts (friends) to meet me out there, but I wanted to be alone.  Sometimes, it’s a great luxury to just be somewhere and not have any obligations or expectations.  Maybe that’s a selfish way to be, but…too bad.  I am selfish then.  Friends are fun, and there are certainly more memorable moments when you do things with friends.  Still, alone-time out in nature – the lake or in the woods – is just divinely primitive…and selfish.  OK….call me selfish…very selfish.


Work has been hell this week, even with Wednesday afternoon off.  I started work on a small project that I estimated to take 4-6 hours.  It has suffered major scope creep, my fault.  The requester called me in tears and asked me to fix some other issues related to this little project.  Then she called a few more times.  Yesterday, she sent me a comprehensive revision affecting 90% of what I was almost ready to test…now it’s like starting over.  It’s as if she stuck a screwdriver into my carotid and now I’m bleeding out all over my cube.  Good thing there’s lots of paper to soak up the blood.  If she weren’t such a nice person, I would have just refused.   I’m a sucker when somebody nice calls up and asks for help.

Last night, I turned in at 9:30 PM and slept like KYLady Van Winkle.  When the alarm went off this morning, I still didn’t want to get up.  Perhaps our bed is just too comfortable, or maybe us old people just like sleeping…or maybe it’s just this old lady who likes sleeping. 

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