deranged

I’m planning to use the MLQ-5X for my study. I’ve spent the entire evening trying to understand how the survey works exactly. It’s 45 questions….a lot of questions in comparison to the servant leader survey that only has 23 questions. Perhaps it’s because the MLQ-5X ranges multiple styles from transactional leader to transformational leader, whereas with the servant leader survey, the participant is tested to be/not be a servant leader.


Chatted with my sweet Sarah tonight :) She remarked that she thinks my little-girl pictures look like hers. I don’t see it, but I found one of her where she is early-two years old. Does this beautiful little girl look anything like me? Other than hair…I don’t see it. She is her father’s face to me.

Sarah, age 2+

Anyway….we are having a fence installed for Gracie next week…the underground electric sort where the dog wears a lovely shock collar and learns discipline the hard-core human way!  It makes me want to don black leather, hip boots, and whip something (no, not really) – only in my imagination!  Lot’s of things are much better left in one’s imagination.   

Speaking of black leather….I was a motorcycle mama for a while in my youth. Not a trashy one though. I was never tempted to get a tattoo…I don’t mind tattoos…I just don’t want one on me. Some are quite amazing though. I never went bra-less or smoked cigarettes (in public…wait maybe I did) or never-ever cussed somebody out in public. I had a black leather jacket (one of Woody’s old castoff’s). Leather is perfect because the dead bugs wipe off easier. I wore a helmet with a windshield – two reasons – I wear contacts and I don’t like bugs planting into my face. He had a Harley Sportster that would fly.

We had adventures on that bike. Woody’s rule – never go 20 miles without a pack of tools strapped onto the back. The engine vibrated miserably. Every time we stopped, he tightened bolts. Sometimes he stopped on purpose to tighten bolts. There was a covered bridge, perhaps the one over Cabin Creek in Mason County that was fairly high over a deep-wooded ravine. We would always take a break there. We’d sit out on the outside of the covered bridge, legs dangling off the concrete supports Stock Bower added when he restored the bridge…and drink some beers, he’d\we’d smoke, and take in the lush beauty of the place. Quiet, the rustle of deer, squirrels, woodpeckers, yeah…the good life! In hot, dry Augusts, lots of times there’d be snakes swimming across the creek all afternoon. Woody had a 22-semi automatic pistol. We would take turns shooting snakes. ooh, to think back about it….it seems so brutal. But it was exhilarating at the same time……UGH, I did that!!! I killed those poor snakes….and I hate snakes. I feel like that two-headed monster again.

Sarah gave me an interesting idea tonight!

Spider babies

Sarah created a poem just for me. She knows me better than I thought (which is rather scary).

Mommy, Mommy, works all day,
Babies, college, bills to pay.

Straining just to stay awake,
Working through her bathroom break.

No time for a little snooze,
No Facebook, TV, or booze.

Bloodshot eyes and caffeine pills,
Utilities, tuition bills.

Praying for the end to come,
Marathon and Phoenix done.

Fifty acres, creek and trees,
Apple orchard, honey bees.

Sarah, Erin, Emmy there,
Dogwoods, redbuds everywhere.

Fireflies and nighttime creep,
Play with fire, go to sleep.

Caffeine pills. I hate the taste of coffee so Diet Mountain Dew and caffeine pills keep me going when I have to work through the wee hours of the morning, and some of afternoons at work when I’ve had one of those nearly-all-nighters.

Sarah’s delinquent kitty ate her spider babies. I picked more of those today and put them in water so they can root. It’s spring and time to plant and grow stuff!!

I miss having time to mess around in my flower beds SO MUCH!! My first attempt to grow a pineapple failed miserably. Time to try Plan B. I went to Lowes and bought a pot and will stick the pineapple top directly into dirt as instructed by my pineapple-growing-expert friend, Steve. He has two little pineapples growing right now – one in his office and one at home. While I was in there, I picked up a pot to plant the spider babies in AND!!!! I bought two window boxes and lettuce seeds. Yes folks, I will be attempting to grow lettuce on the back porch, up high away from hungry deer, rabbits, turtles, raccoons, and every other sort of wildlife critter that eats our garden every year. In all my free time, maybe I can produce a few leafs of lettuce and a pineapple.


Another class starts Tuesday. This weekend, I am working on Chapter 2, the literature review. No complaining out of this mouth – at least I’m making progress. Once the class starts, I will likely have no time for dissertation work. Bummer!!!

Happy Birthday #24 to Sarah



Erin, Emily, and I drove to Maysville today to visit Sarah and celebrate her birthday with her.  Cherry pie was her request (she likes pie more than cake), so I got up early today and baked a pie.  The drive is about 1.667 hours across beautiful countryside – from Greenup County, across Lewis County, and into Mason County.  It rained all day long and flooding is bad in the Ohio Valley right now.  The creeks everywhere were overflowing their banks.  I wanted to stop and see the property of interest along Kinniconick, but didn’t take the extra 30 minutes of my time to check it out.  It had to be bad.  The Kinni creek bottom around Vanceburg was very high - it's possible the road to get out there could have been impassible in some places. 

Sarah said she wanted 24 candles.  Candles don't stand up well in pie so I offered to get a little cake to put the candles on.  Sarah said her favorite cake in all the world is the Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls...shelf life of those is like two years at least!  I bought a box and we used 5 of them to hold 24 candles.  

Sarah's grandparents came over and Woody Sr. helped me light the candles.  He has a fire bug in him just as his son did (as do I :))))).  ANYWAY, we sang happy birthday and Sarah (probably made a wish) and blew out the candles.  Swiss cakes for the brave, cherry pie, and kool-aid, with Thomas exploring the new coffee table and Jack sleeping on Erin's feet. Jack is a good dog, but has that hound dog wandering spirit.  He has to be tied up securely when he's not in the house.  He won't stay home and he's an escape artist.

We drove around a bit today.  I had not been in downtown Maysville since Woody's funeral.  It's such a quaint little town with most of the historic downtown buildings still well-maintained.  We ate lunch in Sarah's favorite Chinese restaurant this afternoon.  Spending Saturday with my chiildren - life is good.

Tomorrow will be devoted to hard-core work.  The new strategy begins tomorrow...actually started it tonight.  Dr. E ticked me off this morning, but after thinking about his comments, I've come to agree with him.  I may have to resort to my sample selection methods, but I should attempt more legitimate methods first.  I'm not a people person - it's a handicap in this world.