Friday, December 28, 2012

be minor fugue

Holiday happiness dissipated quickly and was replaced with despair almost as soon as I walked in and took my seat at work yesterday. Today is no better. I now have 5 piles of “high priority” stuff. Five piles, as if any of it can get done in a hurry…especially while I’m writing a F’g blog post. I’m not a F’g octopus and even though I multitask as well as the next guy, I’m not good enough to get all this shit done when the people want it…even if I worked all night, through the weekend to the end of next week, and wasted no time at all on trivial things such as sleeping or having any kind of life.

I’m the kind of person who when it all gets overwhelming, just quits working. Sometimes the house is such a wreck and there’s so much to do, the only options are to move out or take a nap. Moving out is not really an option…that would entail way too much work. So what do I do? Lay down on the couch and close my eyes. I’m almost always asleep within 5 minutes and then I don’t have to think about anything that needs to be done. Sleep is the ultimate escape…not really, it’s the ultimate temporary escape. Death would be a more ultimate, permanent sort of escape, but let’s not be morose. Anyway, I’d rather be damned to hell for all eternity than to die for my employer (I’m not a team player), and I sure as heck am not going to die because my house is a disaster (I’d have off’d myself a long time ago if that were the case).

So, my brother was arrested for DUI last week, but unfortunately he spent less than 2 hours in jail. I guess the fantasy that he’d go to jail and at least get a few days to detox was only my wishful thinking. He blew .315 when they arrested him; he insists he was completely sober and hadn’t had a drink for hours. He finally got his car out of impound and it’s business as usual for him now. We can only hope they stop him again and set the bond higher. His priors are too long ago so this recent one counts as first DUI, a mere slap on the hand (except his insurance company will not be so forgiving). His court date is end of January. He doesn’t care….about anything at all…except buying that next bottle of vodka.

On a happier note – TGIF!! I’m so ready for the weekend, even though I’ve nothing fun planned at all. My committee lady is happy with Chapter 4 (Dr. Chairman is still ignoring me). This weekend, I’m going to try to finish a draft of Chapter 5, play my new guitar, and drive my drunk brother around to look at houses (he will be too wasted to look but I’m going to make him go…misery loves company)! He has been evicted and needs to find a place to move (and there’s no homeless shelter in that area). I hope to visit Sarah if I can fit that trip into my schedule, and if she has time for me. I think this weekend will fly by, and in a blink, it’ll be Monday morning with me sitting here again.


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