Sometimes my blog makes me happy. I like to scroll back through the posts and look at the pictures, but I don’t reread my stuff very often. Whenever I do, the rampant mistakes bug me and beg for correction. That’s how it was with papers I had to write for courses; I would edit and revise until the deadline and then submit wishing I had time to comb through it all again. Nothing is ever good enough. It’s not really that I’m a perfectionist, but more of a pessimist. How could my professors overlook such blatantly careless mistakes? Some were assholes enough to fail me on a 20 page paper because of a few careless grammar errors...as if content is meaningless if you split an infinitive AND put an extra space after a period.
It’s the same with my proposal. I just want to keep revising it to make it better. I read through a few paragraphs the other day because I was looking for something, and for the first time I thought it sounded pretty good. Maybe I’m finally OK with it, but I best not get too happy because at some point, hopefully this year, it will go for professional editing.
Sarah reads my blog and told me she likes it because it gives her a chance to learn about me as a person who is not just her mother. I’ve been thinking about that. What do people think about me when they read my blog? It’s kind of scary, but then again, few people read it and I don’t put any dark secrets out here.
Sarah sent this video to me tonight – just a little something to let me know she was thinking about me. When she sends things like this, it reminds me that she knows me pretty well (even if there was no blog).