Give me golf

 I was playing golf with Someone yesterday, and “something” happened. Something exciting - exciting to me, anyway. When something like that happens to me, every single dopamine receptor in the deepest convolutions of my brain lights up. It must be true that I’m addicted to golf, but don’t be thinking to do an intervention (or exorcism) on me. I plan to chase this dopamine rush until my last breath, or at least, until I’m just unable to hit a ball and be happy about it.

AI generated at my request (yes I know it's wasteful)

So, after two hip replacements and now with two functioning hips, the old KyLady-on-the-golf-course is almost back, but in some ways, better! I’m more consistent thanks to lots of buckets and drills at the driving range. I’m getting way more distance with irons since I’ve finally learned to compress the ball. My drives are still 10-15 yards shorter than they were 20 years ago, but maybe that will come around. If not, as long as I can keep them in the fairway, it’s OK. Accuracy is way more important than distance (in my most-humble opinion). Not going to lie though, distance is FUN!

So yesterday, Someone and I were playing River Bend. Neither of us were having a great round, but perhaps just a little below our usual performance – it’s still so early in the season. Regardless, we only count pars and birdies.  We have fun rather than documenting our mis-hits and bad luck. On the 18^th (par-4) hole, we both hit marvelous tee shots that were positioned in middle of the fairway about 10 yards apart. Keep in mind this green is surrounded on the left and back sides by a bend in the river. The green itself is the size of a postage stamp, it’s elevated, and it’s really hard to stick a ball on it no matter what time of year it is or how much rain we’ve had.  Someone had about 90 yards and hit his 9 iron over the green. Bye ball.  I had about 82 to the green. It’s too far for my 54 wedge which goes about 65 yards for me, and too close for my pitching wedge which goes about 100 yards with a full swing. I choke down on my pitching wedge and try a ¾ swing. The ball hit the front edge of the green and rolled backwards down the embankment, stopping some 20 yards from the pin. Finesse is not my forte *sigh*

This fox and I had a standoff (foxes live all around the golf course)

So, here we are, nobody behind us. I said, “Dammit Jerry, gimme your A wedge! I’m going to try something here.” I don’t have a gap wedge, but I’ve been thinking about buying one for over a year. I dropped a ball and hit his wedge. It sailed high and plopped on the green, stopping quickly at what looked to be within a yard of the pin. Woohoo! I was excited about it, but when we got up close to the green, we could see that the ball was actually within one inch of being an eagle. Immediate hallelujah full-on dopamine rush. Of course, the shot didn’t count, because, you know, reality.

Still, with that shot on my mind, I searched the web (high and low) and found a used gap wedge that matches my Taylormade irons (someone is married to Calloways). It’s supposed to be good condition…we can hope. I should be in business with it by the middle of April. It excites me to think about it making its way from who knows where into my very hands. It excites me even more that I have another tee time for tomorrow morning. 

Beside #2 (par 5) at River Bend 

 

Bird Brain

We have hard-core winter this week. A giant snowstorm with ice and COLD temperatures (near zero) befell much of our country over the weekend. It’s not warming up and it’s supposed to get even colder over the next week. Yet, I am grateful. We did not lose power at all. I fully expected for a tree to fall on a powerline and prepared us for the worst. It could still happen and who knows when? Ice damages trees. We now have a propane heater (and propane), a working carbon monoxide detector, candles, batteries for the flashlights, water, and a few other essentials. We can survive.

Beautiful ice in the sunlight - photo doesn't do justice

I also bought extra food for the birds. I feed the birds year-round so that I can watch them from my desk as I work. It’s delightful! They delight me – everything about them. I put out several different blends of bird seed and suet because it attracts different birds to our yard. I’m not great at identifying birds, but over the years, I’ve learned to recognize some of our most frequent visitors by their shapes, colors, and songs.

The Merlin app has been a huge help in my bird education (thank you, Sarah, for telling me about it). Once downloaded, it quickly became one of my favorite phone apps. Merlin uses AI to “listen” and identify birds. One of my favorite things to do is to step outside at daybreak when the birds are just waking up, and turn on Merlin. The bird diversity in our yard is amazing. Merlin also identifies when a bird is rare in my location, which is particularly exciting.

Some of these birds detected by Merlin on my phone (in alphabetic order) in or near our yard are:

Acadian Flycatcher
American Crow
American Goldfinch
American Redstart
American Robin
Baltimore Oriole
Blackburnian Warbler
Blue-gray gnatcatcher
Blue Jay
Brown-headed Cowbird
Brown Thrasher
Canada Goose
Cape May Warbler (rare)
Carolina Chickadee
Carolina Wren
Chipping Sparrow
Cedar Waxwing
Chimney Swift
Common Grackle
Common Merganser (rare)
Common Yellowthroat
Cooper’s Hawk
Dark-eyed Junco
Downy Woodpecker
Eastern Bluebird
Eastern Meadowlark
Eastern Phoebe
Eastern Towhee
Eastern Wood-Pewee
Field Sparrow
Golden Crowned Kinglet
Grasshopper Sparrow
Gray Catbird
Great Blue Heron
Hermit Thrush (rare)
House Finch
House Wren (rare)
Indigo Bunting
Louisiana Waterthrush (rare)
Mallard (rare)
Mourning Dove
Northern Cardinal
Northern Flicker
Northern Mockingbird
Northern Parula
Orchard Oriole
Pileated Woodpecker
Pine Warbler
Purple Martin
Red-bellied Woodpecker
Red-eyed Vireo
Red-tailed Hawk
Red-shouldered Hawk
Red-winged Blackbird
Rose-breasted Grosbeak (rare)
Ruby-crowned Kinglet
Ruby-throated Hummingbird
Scarlet Tanager
Song Sparrow
Summer Tanager
Tennessee Warbler
Yellow-billed Cuckoo
Yellow-breasted Chat
Yellow-rumped Warbler
Yellow-throated Vireo
Yellow-throated Warbler
Tufted Titmouse
Warbling Vireo
White-breasted Nuthatch
White-eyed Vireo
White-throated Sparrow
Wood Thrush

I have this list because if Merlin detects a new bird for me, I screenshot it. Merlin doesn’t get all the birds though. We have barred owls and great-horned owls that hang out in the woods behind our house. I sometimes get to see them, but usually only hear them (at dusk or night). Sometimes I hear an unfamiliar bird but other noise (dogs, traffic, etc.) makes Merlin incapable of defining it.  

Two rare birds captured by Little Sandy River

Perhaps it’s an old-people thing to care about birds. My grandfather fed birds – his favorites were the crows. He said they were clever and had distinct personalities and behaviors. My dad loved cardinals. I have always loved hawks and owls, but the calls of mourning doves and wood thrushes transport me to another world.

Looking through my list, I could probably identify 30 of those birds on sight reliably. I’ve never seen an indigo bunting with my eyes but it was so exciting to hear one and know it was close. I love the bluebirds and have worked hard to attract them – they are here rarely. I have no idea why Starling is not on my list – we have them daily. They must leave when I am outside with the Merlin app open on my phone. I can fully understand why people become passionate birdwatchers. 😊

Moving on to 2026

 Life happens…with or without writing about what goes on, time passes. Without writing, most of it is forgotten or runs together, and chronology becomes indistinct. At least, that is the case for me. I enjoy writing, and yet I rarely do it anymore.

Someone and I played a shit ton of golf last summer and fall. Bit by bit, I became less able to walk, hike, or do anything I love doing. On December 10, I had another hip replacement. The left side was replaced in December 2019 (just before the infamous Covid shutdown), and now the right side, December 2025. I am 5 weeks post-surgery, and almost off the cane at this point. My life is just now starting to feel normal again. The pessimist in me wonders which joint will go bad next. Time will answer the question, but for now, my goal is to visit the driving range in February and be back on the golf course and hiking trails in March.

Where I want to be

I will babysit my granddaughters again in late March. It is a lot, but I love everything about my time with them. To visit for a few hours is one thing, but to stay with them and make them do mundane necessary things (eat, bathe, brush teeth, use the potty, go to bed, be nice to each other, etc.) …is an entirely different experience for me, the grandmother. It causes me to wonder if I was ever an effective mother based on my ineffective performance with these tasks as a grandmother. I must have been a tyrant mother because my kids obeyed fairly well.

Now 4 

Will be 2 in a few months

Things will happen in 2026. Our sweet dogs are getting old and feeble, yet, Someone and I will do some traveling because we are also getting older and more feeble. Nothing is planned yet – I’m researching. First up will be a trip (for me and any of my girls who can go) to Florida to visit my mother. Flights were booked for December 2025 and then postponed because of my surgery date. It’s time to reschedule for March sometime, probably early in the month.

Gracie

our Mick

The next trip(s) will be for me and Someone. Perhaps we will go to Arizona, or perhaps to Tennessee, and most likely we will go to Myrtle Beach again this year because that’s Someone’s favorite place on this Earth. Someone also wants us to cruise somewhere. I’ve been watching videos and trying to get inspired about cruises. I know the ships are huge and there is plenty to do, but it looks so isolated and artificial to be at sea on a massive floating city ship. I don’t care about fancy unlimited food, laying in the sun, gambling, shopping, or exciting night life. I do like a good show, but not every day. Someone talks about how “fun” it will be to eat, play slot machines, and work out in a gym every day. There is zero enthusiasm from me thinking about those activities. Although, perhaps we can play golf on some little exotic island somewhere. Perhaps we can hike or get in a canoe or kayak. It never hurts to stretch horizons and see something new, so perhaps that is how I should imagine a cruise, rather than focusing on living with Someone and his sweaty gym clothes in tight quarters for ever how long the thing lasts.

It's hard to envision travel dates with so much to happen in 2026. We expect Emily to graduate this year because she expects to defend her dissertation this spring. I refuse to miss her graduation because not only is it a big deal, I did not see her graduate as an undergraduate because the ceremony was on the same day and time as Erin’s. Someone attended Emily’s ceremony with his parents and Sarah accompanied me to Erin’s ceremony. Neither girl had a graduation ceremony as graduate students because of Covid. Fuck Covid! Not only did it kill people, its damage goes beyond measure in more ways than we will ever be able to count.

Old KyLady has new interest in fitness now that she’s had two hips gone bad and repaired. Perhaps she will find a trainer and make a commitment to visit the gym. #goal  For now, physical therapy visits continue for another few weeks…until I can walk without limping. #anothergoal