Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Patience is not my virtue

This day has not at all turned out the way I wanted it to.  I’m terribly impatient.  I didn’t use to be this way, but it seems my life is nothing but clocks and calendars anymore.  Obviously my chairman is in no hurry.  He promised to have comments on Chapter 3 for me yesterday.  Still nothing.  I will text him tomorrow…make him sorry he ever agreed to chair my dissertation.  I’m running out of time to get this thing submitted before March.  He has to OK it before I can send it to the committee, and one committee guy has not seen any of it yet (that was his choice).  It does no good to fret over it…but I do….all the time.  I wanted to send it to an editor too….more time needed.  And I’m still waiting for EVERYONE to sign permission forms and send them back.  Is it possible that 7 different people just told me what I wanted to hear and now will watch it all go down the drain?  No – they won’t watch.  I will.  They won’t give a shit.

Why am I in this situation again?  Obviously I’m a terrible judge of people, or I’m just extremely gullible.  If somebody tells me something, I assume they aren’t lying.  Maybe that’s the wrong assumption.  I’ll be first to admit I’m not a people person.  In my fantasy life, I live in the back of a hollow far away from civilization.  No noise from cars or sirens, no neighbors, just wildlife.  I look at property online sometimes…and dream.

Someone would never go for that lifestyle.  He’s got to have city conveniences and hi-def cable TV.  So, I’ve been married to Someone for about 18 years or so.  We had common interests when I had a life, but we are nothing alike. 
Do opposites attract?
I guess that’s OK as long as he has hi-def cable TV and I have a place to escape to (someday, I will…if I live that long).

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